Help! My daughter came home totally drunk, probably had sex with 18 year old she barely knew. I know she needs counseling, discussions..<br />
<br />
My husband(J) decided after talking to the guys in the office that teens get in trouble, its OK. I had a detective ready to open a complaint, but suddenly J yelled at the top of his lungs at daughter "Your mother is going to have (boy) arrested and put in jail!"<br />
<br />
Daughter was traumatized, locked herself in bathroom, was crying uncontrollably, didn't want to live, so I promised her not to report him.<br />
<br />
J took control of daughter a long time ago. It's like J has custody. I fought but J was giving her $, buying stuff, letting her stay out for days. When I stopped her from sneaking out, J would get mad at me for starting arguments.<br />
<br />
This is paranoid, but after my daughter was born, one night J made a tearful confession that J's younger brother was blackmailing him because J abused brother (and sister) when he was a teen. J. said he had been abused by neighbors, didn't know it was wrong at the time.<br />
<br />
I did not do anything. I had cancer at the time. I was in the hospital half the time.<br />
<br />
J and I don't have sex much. No desire on my part, emotional alienation. <br />
<br />
Is he getting some creepy gratification from her sexual behavior? Wouldn't a caring Dad be angry at the 18 yr old guy? Would he think B.J.'s are OK? <br />
<br />
I think it's demeaning and dangerous for a young girl to get wasted, blow some guy for what? At least get love and pleasure.<br />
<br />
J and daughter refuse counseling, because now it is normal. If I leave she will stay with him. Yes, I am in counseling, once every 2 weeks.<br />
Not OK!<br />
<br />
1. How do I force J, daughter to go to counseling?<br />
<br />
2. If this is abuse, how do I catch him? We live in a small house. I am home 24/7. He got very upset when I used a semen detection kit to see if my daughter was too drunk to remember sex. Said I was a sick pervert. The police didn't seem to think so.<br />
<br />
3. How much harder can I fight for partnership? <br />
We took 16 week parenting class- teacher said you're on your own. I left once, filed restraining order, started divorce proceedings - he took daughter out of daycare, gave her to strangers who took her out of state, he froze my assets so I was homeless. On the day before court, he told a psychiatrist I was suicidal. I was picked up by police and EMT, locked up in a hospital. The psychiatrist he picked to report "suicide threat" shows up as my doctor. When I said I would go back home, behave, doctor let me out on meds. <br />
<br />
I had a 10% chance of living a year. Still sick from chemo.<br />
<br />
Would it be better to risk him getting custody?<br />
<br />
My husband(J) decided after talking to the guys in the office that teens get in trouble, its OK. I had a detective ready to open a complaint, but suddenly J yelled at the top of his lungs at daughter "Your mother is going to have (boy) arrested and put in jail!"<br />
<br />
Daughter was traumatized, locked herself in bathroom, was crying uncontrollably, didn't want to live, so I promised her not to report him.<br />
<br />
J took control of daughter a long time ago. It's like J has custody. I fought but J was giving her $, buying stuff, letting her stay out for days. When I stopped her from sneaking out, J would get mad at me for starting arguments.<br />
<br />
This is paranoid, but after my daughter was born, one night J made a tearful confession that J's younger brother was blackmailing him because J abused brother (and sister) when he was a teen. J. said he had been abused by neighbors, didn't know it was wrong at the time.<br />
<br />
I did not do anything. I had cancer at the time. I was in the hospital half the time.<br />
<br />
J and I don't have sex much. No desire on my part, emotional alienation. <br />
<br />
Is he getting some creepy gratification from her sexual behavior? Wouldn't a caring Dad be angry at the 18 yr old guy? Would he think B.J.'s are OK? <br />
<br />
I think it's demeaning and dangerous for a young girl to get wasted, blow some guy for what? At least get love and pleasure.<br />
<br />
J and daughter refuse counseling, because now it is normal. If I leave she will stay with him. Yes, I am in counseling, once every 2 weeks.<br />
Not OK!<br />
<br />
1. How do I force J, daughter to go to counseling?<br />
<br />
2. If this is abuse, how do I catch him? We live in a small house. I am home 24/7. He got very upset when I used a semen detection kit to see if my daughter was too drunk to remember sex. Said I was a sick pervert. The police didn't seem to think so.<br />
<br />
3. How much harder can I fight for partnership? <br />
We took 16 week parenting class- teacher said you're on your own. I left once, filed restraining order, started divorce proceedings - he took daughter out of daycare, gave her to strangers who took her out of state, he froze my assets so I was homeless. On the day before court, he told a psychiatrist I was suicidal. I was picked up by police and EMT, locked up in a hospital. The psychiatrist he picked to report "suicide threat" shows up as my doctor. When I said I would go back home, behave, doctor let me out on meds. <br />
<br />
I had a 10% chance of living a year. Still sick from chemo.<br />
<br />
Would it be better to risk him getting custody?<br />